"You washed away my sad face
You take away life’s heartbreak
You’re rushing through me (like water from heaven)
I feel you moving through me (like sand in the sea)
And now I feel so alive (now I’m into something, something real)
So alive (you’re the air in my atmosphere)
Finally I feel complete
Cause you have rushed over me yeah”
Olivia and “the boys” were on their way to Phoenix, Arizona for another performance. She was excited to not only to be going to the show, but being there with Kevin and AJ, Howie, Brian and even Nick. She noticed he was unusually quiet and she pretty much knew why. They hadn’t spoken after she walked away from him last night, although she had been wanting to apologize to him and talk to him again.
While they were waiting on the plane to take off, Olivia checked her cell phone for messages. She saw the “1 missed call and voice mail message” and figured it was from Kelli, but what she heard was: “Hi, Olivia, it’s Nick. Hey, I just wanted to apologize to you for what I said tonight. I probably sounded insensitive saying I needed some more time, but I was really just being honest. I did want to tell you that I am very happy for you and I do wish you the best with whatever decisions you make. I still care about you— a lot, but I know you and Kevin are right for each other, so I hope you guys can work things out and stay together. I think you will make great parents. Anyway, I guess I will see you tomorrow.”
Olivia snapped her phone closed. She turned to look behind her at Nick and he glanced up at her. She smiled at him and he smiled back, uneasily.
Once arriving in Phoenix, the guys exited the plane first and then Olivia. Their publicist had wanted her to wait until they were off the plane until she got off so the media wouldn’t read anything into her presence. She was fine with that, but she was totally unprepared for the reception the guys were getting in Phoenix. There was a crowd of dozens screaming fans, mostly young girls/women, all wanted a piece of the Backstreet Boys. Cameras flashed, reporters thrusting microphones into their faces. It was like they were the frickin’ Beatles or something! She was astonished at all the attention, but it was because she had never been exposed to anything like that before.
They made their way to a waiting limo which whisked them off to their hotel. “Are you okay?” Kevin asked.
Olivia laughed. “Yeah, I’m just not used to all of this! How do you guys do it?!”
Brian laughed. “We’re used to it. Fun, huh?”
Back at the hotel, Olivia opted to take a nap while the guys unpacked and then relaxed a little before heading for the concert venue. After napping for awhile, Olivia woke up thirsty. She took a sip of her bottled water and realized it was warm from the hot Arizona sun. “Ugh!” She decided to go out to get a cup of ice. When she came back to the room, a wave of nausea hit her and she ran into the bathroom to throw up. She had left the door open.
‘Oh God’, I hadn’t done that in awhile. ‘I thought that was over.’ She thought. She poured her warm water over the ice in her cup and laid down to relax. A few minutes later she saw someone walking by her room and then they backed up.
“Olivia? Are you okay?” Nick peered into her room.
Olivia smiled at him. “Yeah, I just throw up. You know, the perils of being pregnant. I feel much better know though— thanks.”
“Cool. I’m glad.” He started to walked away.
“Nick!” she called after him.
He came back. “Yeah?”
“Do you have a minute?”
“Sure. I just came back to my room to get another shirt. I didn’t realize how much I was going to sweat!” He laughed and came into the room.
“Close the door.” Olivia said.
“Ooh, a clandestine meeting. I like it.” He joked and closed the door.
“No, I just don’t want anyone to think anything is going on,” Olivia said. “Not that anything is going on.” She was quick to add.
“Don’t worry, I know you’re with Kevin. Everything’s cool.”
“Oh, good.” She breathed a sigh of relief. “Come, sit by me— I won’t bite.” Nick went to sit on the bed next to her. He didn’t know how good an idea that was, but he wanted to please her.
“What’s up?” He looked at her.
“I just wanted to say thank you for leaving that voice mail message on my cell. I really appreciate it. I also wanted to apologize to you, too but being so unreasonable. I was expecting you to be instantly okay with me being pregnant and that really was asking a lot. So, I’m sorry. I appreciate you being okay with Kevin and I raising the baby.”
“So, Kevin is totally fine with everything now?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.”
“Oh?”
“No, that’s cool.”
“Okay. Well, we haven’t told anyone yet, but I wanted to tell you. Kevin proposed to me last night.”
“And?”
“I said yes!” Olivia tried not to sound too excited, but she couldn’t help it— she was.
“Congratulations.” Nick said, suddenly not so fine with things. Engaged! Damn! Not that he was that surprised…
“Thanks. I just wanted to tell you first before it got out—you know out of respect.”
“I appreciate that.”
“Nick, I have a question for you.”
“Shoot.”
“Will you want to know if the baby is yours and if it is, do you want to be a part of his or her life?” Olivia knew it was a loaded question and one that maybe Nick wasn’t ready to answer, but she had to ask it.
“I’ve been thinking a lot about that and I honestly don’t know. Like I said, I’m going to need some time.”
“Okay, I understand. Just let me know when you know, okay? I would kind of like to know so I can be prepared mentally about what to expect.”
“I will.” He said. “Hey, is it okay if I give you a goodbye kiss?” Nick asked, hopeful. He just wanted one last time to feel her in his arms, the feel of his lips pressing against hers.
Olivia was confused. On one hand she knew she shouldn’t because she was engaged to Kevin, but on the other hand she wanted to. She hated to admit it, but she was still so damn attracted to Nick Carter and feeling his lips on hers one more time would be heaven…
As in a dream, she nodded and Nick bent to brush his soft lips against hers, at first softly, then with an urgency. When he felt her respond, he put both hands around her face, parting her lips and thrusting his tongue into her mouth, searching for hers. She met his tongue and matched his desire with her own; her passion for him rising— knowing she was in familiar waters, the kind that got her in trouble.
Nick kissed her passionately; his pent up desires ignited by the feel of her lips on his, her face in his hands. He felt his erection rising and he so wanted to undress her and take her immediately. He knew he shouldn’t, he couldn’t, it was wrong, but somehow his hands slid down to his shoulders and down to her breasts…
Olivia pulled away. “Nick, don’t!”
“Oh, God, I’m sorry. I got carried away. Really, I’m sorry.” Nick stood up. He had to get out of there— now.
“I’m going to take off. Congratulations, again.” He said and was out of there in a flash.
Olivia sat back, flushed and quivering. Why did he always have that affect on her?! Would it ever go away? She was madly in love with Kevin, she shouldn’t be having these feelings for Nick still. It was wrong, it was so wrong. She stood up and walked over to the bathroom sink and splashed cold water on her face. She looked up at the mirror and saw her body flushed all over and her two hardened peaks visible through her blouse. Oh, God… not good. She undressed, stepped into the shower and turned the faucet to cold.
The rest of the week was a whirlwind. They traveled from Portland to Phoenix to Las Vegas to Concord, California and then to Sacramento, California. Olivia and Kevin laughed as they pulled into Sacramento.
“Hey, do you think we’ll see Joshua here?”
Olivia giggled. “God, I hope not. But you never know…”
Olivia was having the time of her life. She loved watching BSB perform and traveling with them was wonderful. She was able to sleep when they were busy and once rested, she was the life of the party. Her morning sickness had abated thank God and she and Kevin had announced to everyone the news of their engagement, including the world. Kevin made a formal announcement to a reporter and so there was Olivia’s face on US Weekly and People and all the other “rag” mags announcing her as Kevin Richardson’s fiancé. She was still so excited when she thought of it. Everyone seemed happy for them, including Nick— at least he seemed to. After his and Olivia’s tryst in the hotel room that day, they didn’t speak of it again and of course, Olivia hadn’t told Kevin about it. It was nothing, she told herself, I don’t need to hurt Kevin over it. She knew he would be crushed and it was so unnecessary. After Sacramento, they traveled to Portland and Olivia realized their time was drawing to a close and she was sad.
Olivia and Kevin were back at the hotel room after the September 2 Portland, Oregon concert. They were lying in bed, kissing after making love and Olivia was looking at Kevin sadly.
“I can’t believe this week is over already! Kevin, I’ve had the best time of my life with you guys. I wish I could go with you to Canada…”
“I know, baby, I wish you could, too! But I know you have to go back to work and I really don’t want you trapzing around the world anymore being pregnant. You should get back home with Kelli and get your “normal life” back. We have a two week break between Quebec and Sweden on September 14, so I plan to fly out to see you for a couple of days, that is if it’s okay…”
“Are you kidding me?! Oh my God, that will be awesome! I had no idea!” she threw her arms around him. Kevin laughed.
“Well, I just checked with everyone and it’s okay. I didn’t want to say anything until I was sure ‘cause I didn’t want to get your hopes up. We can stay at my house.”
“God, that will be wonderful. I love staying there.”
“In fact, baby, I’m going to give a key so you can go there whenever you want. If you want, we can live there after we get married.”
“Are you fucking kidding me? I would love that! I love that house!” Kevin laughed at her, delighted she was so thrilled.
“I don’t think you’re happy enough about it.” He teased her.
“Shut up. Be glad I am!”
“I am, I am.” He kissed her. God, he couldn’t get enough of her lips, her body, her mind, her enthusiasm… he didn’t want to leave her for a week and a half only to see her for two days and then have to fly back to Canada and be gone for another two months. It would be November 12 until he could fly out to see her again before they left for Asia. Man, this sucked.
Olivia was left alone in Portland after Kevin and the guys bid her farewell and Kevin promised to call, e-mail and communicate with her via webcam. She decided to visit a few friends and family members before flying back to LA the next day.
The next week, Olivia went to a doctor’s appointment where she heard the baby’s heartbeat, which was very exciting. She e-mailed Kevin and he e-mailed back as soon as he could to tell her how thrilled he was and of course, that he loved her. She smiled. Olivia had been staying at Kevin’s house most nights. It was such a comfort to her to be in his home, being near his things and smelling his scent.
The 12 days actually went by quickly and Olivia was picking Kevin up from the airport. Kevin swung her around and she giggled. It was still so euphoric to see one another. Olivia was three months pregnant now and her normally flat stomach had gained a slight “bump”. Kevin noticed right away and put his hand on it.
“Oh, Liv, you are starting to show.”
Olivia smiled. “I know. My clothes are getting a little tight. I love it. I actually can’t wait to go shopping for maternity clothes.”
“Well, funny you should mention shopping because one of the things I want to do where I’m here is shop for an engagement ring for you.”
Olivia’s eyes lit up. “Really?!”
Kevin laughed and took her hand and they started walking through the terminal. “Yes. I thought about just buying you one, but I wanted you to pick it out. So, what do you think?”
“Are you kidding me? It’s every girl’s dream! I was so excited just to see you, but now I’m really on Cloud Nine!”
Kevin chuckled and kissed her. No, he was the one on Cloud Nine.
