"Oh no
Take what you need 'cause I can't hold my breath
Say what you feel 'cause I've got nothing left
Oh, I made a promise to myself last night
I'm gonna keep it if it's wrong or right
And if I lose it all
There’ll be nothing left to lose and I would take the fall
‘Cause knowing you are out there breathing
It’s so wonderful; it’s a chance I take even if I break it
I lose it all, if I lose it all
Wouldn’t matter anyway”
Kevin sat there at the piano for a few seconds, stunned. Was he going to be a father?! He looked over at Nick who looked just as flabbergasted as he. How could Olivia be pregnant?! And if she was, who was the father? He realized he better go find her and see if she was okay.
Nick was dealing with demons of his own. A thousand questions were running through his head— how far along was she? Was the baby his? Was it Kevin’s? Or did she even know who the father was? If it was his, did he want to be a father? Would he be able to be with Olivia or would she stay with Kevin?
Kevin had to run after Olivia since she was already making her way to his car.
“Olivia, wait—“
But she kept walking.
“Hey, are you okay?” Kevin grabbed her arm to stop her and Olivia whirled around to face him.
“No, I’m not. I’m embarrassed, humiliated and I feel like crap. It wasn’t supposed to happen that way— me blurting it out to you and everyone!” Olivia tried to stop the waterfall of tears, but it was a losing battle. “This is supposed to be a happy moment in a woman’s life and I’m not happy!”
“So, we have something to deal with and we’ll deal with it. Can I ask you if you know how it happened… I mean…”
“I know what you mean. I changed birth control so I think that was it. I wasn’t trying to get pregnant in case you wondering.”
“I know, I know; I was just curious. So what do you want to do? Do you want the baby?”
Olivia nodded. “Yes, I do, even if I have to raise it alone. I want it with all of my heart.”
Kevin was quiet, taking it all in.
“Look, Kevin, I know you weren’t expecting this, but guess what, neither was I. I would have preferred to be married first, but you know, that’s life. So, now I’m pregnant, not married and I don’t know if you even want me or this baby…”
“I want you.” He said.
“But not the baby?”
“Am I the father?”
Olivia turned and started walking away again.
“Olivia!” Kevin ran after her again.
“What Kevin? You want to know if it’s yours or Nick’s, don’t you? Well, I don’t know, okay?! I’m almost positive it’s yours, but there is a slight chance that…” she hesitated. “you’re not the father.”
Olivia looked up at Kevin and saw that there were tears in his eyes. Her heart went out to him and she tried to reach out to him, but he backed away.
“I’ve got to go. Here are the keys if you want to go back to the hotel.” Kevin handed her the car and hotel keys and left.
Kevin went back to rehearsal and carried on. He had to. He had to get his mind off of the situation because if he allowed himself to think about it, he would fall apart. His heart was breaking that Olivia was pregnant and it may not be his baby. He would normally have been happy about it, even though the timing sucked since he was on tour, but since that was case and Nick might be the father, he wasn’t happy about it. And that made him depressed because Olivia was happy about having the baby regardless of who the father was and he wanted to be with her. Just when he thought life was almost perfect, he was thrown another curve ball and it totally sucked the big one. He didn’t know what he was going to do about it, but right now he was going to stay focused on the task at hand and doing a kick ass show for their fans— he owed them that.
Olivia went back to the hotel. She was physically and mentally exhausted. Once she entered the hotel room, she fell into bed and slept for almost two hours. When she awoke, she felt better, but still not right. She should have expected that reaction from Kevin and had suspected that was what she would get, but she had so hoped that he might be happy about the baby and not care who the father was. That was stupid of you, Olivia, to think that since it did matter, she thought. You slept with two men within a week of each other who are like best friends and why wouldn’t he react like that?! God! Would life ever be simple again?! She suspected it would not.
Okay, so, what are you going to do, Olivia? Are you going to go back home or stay and confront Kevin and Nick? Oh, God, Nick… she had forgotten that he had been privy to her accidental announcement earlier. He must be reeling from the shock. A 25-year old playboy stuck with a baby! She had not wanted that for him. He was carefree, independent and not tied down and yet this could do just that if it were his…
No, that’s not right. I’m going to leave. This wasn’t fair to come here and blurt out to Kevin she was pregnant, even if no one else had heard. But, wait a minute, was it fair for her to deal with it alone? He had equal responsibility in this if it were his… and what about Nick? He was equally responsible as well, or could be. So, she would not take all the “blame” for this accident. Accident? Oh God, she would never want her baby to be referred to as an “accident.” This was a child born out of love— her love for both Kevin and Nick and he or she would not know anything different than love; at least from her.
Now the big decision for now was, did she go to the concert tonight and pretend everything was okay or did she go home? Olivia really did want to see the guys perform, so she would go. Looking at her watch, she realized the concert was about to start and she better get her ass there soon.
The concert was amazing, of course, since her favorite band, the Backstreet Boys were performing. Olivia had a coveted front row seat, but she wasn’t in it much because she was too busy standing up screaming, applauding and dancing along with the other fans around her. Both Kevin and Nick had noticed her and she smiled demurely at them, but she was totally unprepared for Nick to pull her up on stage during “Larger Than Life.” ‘Oh my God!’ she thought. Nick and Kevin flanked her and spun her around as the five of them sang:
“All you people can't you see, can't you see
How your love's affecting our reality
Every time we're down
You can make it right…”
And then Kevin thrust the microphone in front of Olivia and she sang:
”And that makes you larger than life”
The crowd cheered and Olivia made her way back to her seat, a little embarrassed, but mostly thrilled that Nick and Kevin included her in that way. It made her feel very special and happy that they weren’t harboring bitter feelings towards her after the bombshell she had dropped on them earlier that evening. And it was exciting being on stage with AJ, Howie and Brian as well.
After the concert ended, a security guard escorted Olivia backstage to congratulate the “boys”. Olivia ran into AJ first.
“Hey, Olivia, how’s it goin’?” He gave her a kiss on the cheek.
“Hi, AJ, I’m okay. Just a little embarrassed about my announcement earlier.” She smiled at him.
“Don’t be. Congratulations. We’re all happy for you.” He whispered and squeezed her arm.
“Thanks!” she smiled at him, truly touched. “You guys sounded awesome tonight by the way. I loved the show!”
Then Nick appeared and AJ left to talk to some other people.
“Hi.”
“Hi.”
“So, I guess you heard my news.” Olivia looked up him sheepishly.
“Yeah, it was kind of hard not to.” He laughed and she smiled, grateful that he was joking like his old self.
“Nick, I’m sorry you had to hear it that way. I was planning to tell you, but I just honestly didn’t know when or how.”
“Yeah, this is... uh, unexpected. What are you going to do?”
“I’m going to keep the baby.”
“And what about Kevin?”
“Am I going to keep Kevin?” She smiled and he chuckled. “The question is, will he keep me. He seemed pretty shaken, which I thought he might be, but I had hoped he might be happier about it. I guess maybe he would have been if…” she looked at him. “…if you and I hadn’t slept together.”
“So, I guess my assumption was right and I might be the father?”
Olivia nodded, not knowing what else to say.
Nick let out a long sigh. “Wow.”
“Yeah, wow.” She was about to say she was sorry and then she stopped herself. Why should she apologize? They were both responsible.
“I think I’m going to need some time to process this…”
“Okay, well, take your time. You have plenty of time— seven months to be exact. See ya later.”
She turned around and walked off the stage. Suddenly she was angry. Goddamn Kevin and Nick. Yeah, she knew it was a shock and a huge deal, but my God, where was the support for her? She wished they would just get over themselves and mourning their lost freedom and tell her they loved her, they would be there for her, they would even marry her? Or even that they were happy she was going to have a baby. I guess that was just too much to ask. Deep down Olivia knew she was being irrational and it was the hormones talking, but she didn’t care. She wanted to pout and pout she would. She took her pouty little self all the way back to the hotel.
Walking into the hotel lobby, Olivia entered the elevator and pushed the third floor button. Noticing a man standing next to her, she looked up.
“Joshua?!”
“Olivia?!”
They stood staring at each other for a minute and then burst out laughing.
“What are you doing here?” They both said at the same and started laughing again.
“Okay, you first.” Olivia said.
“I’m here representing a client. What about you?”
“Um, well…” She decided to be honest with him. “First of all, I might have told you when you called that I have a boyfriend,” Joshua nodded. “but I don’t think I told you he’s one of the members of the Backstreet Boys. So, I’m staying with him today while they’re on tour here. We leave for Phoenix tomorrow.”
“Wow, that’s cool! I’m happy for you.” The truth was he was crushed that she was still unavailable. She looked hot in a sexy pink halter-top and curve-hugging jeans.
“Thanks. Well, this is my floor. Take care.” She said.
“I’m on the 10th. It was great running into you. Bye.”
Olivia started to exit the elevator, then stopped and turned around. “Hey, Joshua, do you mind hanging out with me for a little while? That is, if you don’t have any plans.” As tired as she was mentally and physically, she really didn’t want to go back to hotel alone and think about Kevin and Nick and her situation.
“Sure, but where’s your boyfriend?”
“Uh, don’t ask.” She said.
Joshua took her to the restaurant where they sat at a table in the bar area. He decided it would be too presumptuous to invite her to his hotel room although that’s exactly where he would take her if he had his way.
They sat over a ginger ale for Olivia and a screwdriver for Joshua for a few minutes, chatting idly. Olivia was so grateful that once again he could get her mind of what ailed her.
“So, Olivia it sounds like there’s a story to tell. Do you want to talk about it?”
Did she want to spill her guts out to a near stranger? Not really; although it would feel good to talk about it.
She shook her head. “No, but thanks anyway. In fact, I should get to bed. I’m pretty tired.”
“Okay, I’ll walk you back to the hotel room.”
Once at Kevin’s hotel room, Joshua was reluctant to say goodbye.
“Look, Olivia, if you ever need a friend or… screw it, more than friend, I will be there for you. Hopefully, you still have my phone number. I would love to see you again.”
“Joshua, my life is way too complicated right now. You have no idea what you would be getting yourself into, but again, thanks for everything. I appreciate your friendship.” She reached up to give him a peck on his cheek. Her scent was intoxicating and he grabbed her to plant a kiss on her lips, hoping she would reciprocate.
Olivia was stunned for a second and then pulled away.
“What are you doing?!” she asked.
“Em hem.” They whirled around to see Kevin standing there with a scowl on his face.
Olivia realized she hadn’t even heard the ding! of the elevator opening or his footsteps. Let the games begin…
