“The things we did, the things we said
Keep coming back to me and make me smile again
You showed me how to face the truth
Everything that's good in me I owe to you
Though the distance that's between us
Now may seem to be too far
It will never separate us
Deep inside I know you are
Never gone, never far
In my heart is where you are
Always close, everyday
Every step along the way
Even though for now we've gotta say goodbye
I know you will be forever in my life (yeah)
Never gone”
The time had come to say goodbye. Olivia was at the airport with Kevin and the other four and she didn’t want to do it. It was just too hard. She had known for awhile now this moment would come, but she still wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming sadness she was feeling. Some of it had to do with the growing life inside her that she hoped was Kevin’s, but a lot of was because she loved this man standing in front of her and she would miss him with all her heart.
“We’re glad you're okay.” Brian said and the other three echoed the sentiment. Olivia had told Kevin and the rest of the guys the doctor had told her she had had food poisoning and she feeling better today. She ultimately had to lie since they demanded an explanation, but she told herself it had to be done for the greater good. Thank God she hadn’t felt like throwing up today; not yet anyway. Olivia hugged Brian, AJ and Howie and then she looked at Nick and even though she knew it might affect Kevin, she wanted to hug him one last time, feel those wonderful, strong arms around her one last time. Nick loved having her in his arms again. It had been so long…
“Take care of yourself, Nick.” Olivia whispered. “You, too, Olivia.” He choked out, knowing he would miss her. They felt something for each other they might always feel, but they both knew they couldn’t be together, even if he wasn’t about to board a plane right now.
When Olivia got to Kevin, they clung to one another like they were “drowning”. Kevin kissed her passionately and didn’t care who was watching, including Nick. He took her face his hands and looked into her beautiful green eyes, “Baby, I love you. I’ll call you tomorrow.” Olivia nodded, afraid to talk for fear she would start balling.
She watched them board the plane and the airplane rise above the clouds taking a piece of her heart, her future with it. She sighed, wiped the tears away and walked towards her car.
Olivia had told Karen she would be late to work so she could see the guys off at the airport. Thankfully she was busy enough the rest of the day to keep her mind occupied—for awhile. She had decided not to tell anyone about the pregnancy until after her doctor’s appointment.
The days went by, but very slowly for Olivia. She had received a call from Kevin saying they arrived at their destination with no problems and they were about to leave to perform their sound checks and rehearsal for that night’s show. She was happy to hear his voice and know that he was safe and all was well, but the melancholy lingered that had started to moment she said goodbye to him.
Olivia went to her first doctor’s appointment in LA a week later. Her doctor, Dr. Willows, confirmed that she was definitely pregnant and was now around six weeks along. Yes, her due date was March 10, but Olivia knew that was a guesstimate and time would tell when the baby would be born and who the father really was. She was told she and the baby were healthy which was great news, but Olivia was sad that Kevin was not there with her or that she was unable to share the happy news with him. She so wanted to share this scary, but exciting time in her life with him, but of course, that wasn’t going to happen, at least not yet.
Now that Olivia had seen her doctor, she was able to break the news to Kelli.
“Kel, I have some news. Do you want to sit down?” Olivia said to her friend when she came home that evening.
Kelli looked at her, a little worried since she knew about Olivia’s incident last Wednesday at the party. She took a seat opposite Olivia on the couch.
“Okay. What’s up?”
“Well… I’m pregnant!” Olivia smiled, unsure of what her reaction would be.
“OH MY GOD! Congratulations!” Kelli jumped up to hug her and Olivia laughed.
“Thanks.”
“Are you happy about it?”
Olivia nodded. “I am. At first I wasn’t so sure, but now I know I really want this baby.”
“But I have a confession to make.” Olivia continued. “ I lied to you about having food poisoning. I found out that night at the emergency room I was pregnant. I just wasn’t ready to tell anyone. I hope you’re not mad at me.” She looked at her sheepishly.
“Of course I’m not! I understand. I have so many questions though… What did Kevin say? Are you getting married? Why did he leave if he knew?”
Olivia laughed. “Slow down. Um, Kevin…” she didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to lie to her again, but she knew she probably wouldn’t approve of her decision not to tell him either.
Kelli looked at her friend and it dawned on her. “Oh my God, you didn’t tell Kevin did you?”
“How did you know?!” Olivia asked, but then she realized that Kelli knew her too well.
“I know you, girl. You wouldn’t want to burden him with that information right before he was leaving on a whirlwind tour. You found out the night before he left?”
Olivia nodded. “Yes. It was rough. I couldn’t tell him or Nick. It would have ruined everything.”
“But Olivia, you didn’t plan this, it’s not your fault. It’s life. You have to tell him. He would want to know.”
“Yes, I know and he’ll probably kill me when he finds out I didn’t tell him right away, but it’s for the best.”
“You are so stubborn. I don’t know how you do it. I would be going crazy and would have to say something. When are you going to tell him?”
“When I see him next month when they are in LA.”
Kelli thought for a second and it dawned on her that Kevin wasn’t necessarily the father.
“Olivia, is Kevin the father?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I think he is.”
“But it could be Nick’s, right?”
Olivia looked down. She didn’t want to think about her dilemma and yet it seemed like it was all she thought about lately.
“Oh, sweetie, I’m so sorry you have to deal with all of this. When can you find out for sure?”
“I don't know. I mean, I think I have to wait until after the baby is born, but I need to ask the doctor to make sure.”
“Oh my God. Are you going to tell Nick you’re pregnant? I mean, I guess you would have to tell him…”
Olivia sighed. She hadn't thought about that a lot. Of course, she wanted to tell Kevin first, but then when did she tell Nick? When it ever going to be the right time or right circumstance to break the news to him? She still hadn’t figured it out yet.
“I haven’t decided yet.”
“I’m sorry you have to go through all this, but I want you to know that I will be here for you if you need me.”
“Thank you. You don’t know how much that means to me.” The two hugged.
The days passed and life went on. Kevin either called or e-mailed Olivia every day. He was even able to set up a webcam in the hotel room so they could communicate that way on the weekends. She loved being in contact with him, but hated not being able to tell him all that she was going through with the pregnancy. Her body was changing which was scary and thrilling at the same time. She wished she could tell him everything, but she would get her chance next week when they arrived in LA.
The tour was going well and the Kevin and the guys were loving every minute of it. Performing, traveling, staying in hotels, attending rehearsals, meetings, parties, etc. was all very exciting, yet exhausting. Nick and Kevin were back to their old selves; joking around and teasing one another like nothing had ever happened. They were both happy they could mend the rift between them and move on. The five of them were having the time of their lives although Kevin wished Olivia was there beside him to enjoy it with him. He thought of her when they sang “Drowning”, “Shape of My Heart”, “Safest Place Hide” and a few other songs, but he mostly thought of her when he was lying in bed in one their many hotel rooms and wished she was lying next to him. He couldn’t wait to see her again.
Nick was doing well; he was in his element. He loved singing, performing for their fans and everything involved with the tour. It was mentally and physically exhausting at times, but he loved being with AJ, Howie, Brian and even Kevin. They always made time to mess around; teasing each other constantly and Nick playing practical jokes on them. On tour was where the Backstreet Boys shined. Olivia was becoming a distant memory and Nick felt he had moved on. He had met a couple of women who had gladly kept his mind and body occupied when they had some free time so he was on his way to his once happy and carefree lifestyle again.
Finally the day had arrived and Olivia was knocking on the door of Room 314 at The Marriott Hotel in downtown Los Angeles. Kevin flung it open and a huge smile lit up his face.
“You made it!” He grabbed her and hugged her tight.
“Yes! I’m so glad to see you!”
“Me, too!” Kevin kissed her, thinking how she even looked more beautiful and radiant than he remembered.
“God, I missed you! You look so beautiful, baby!” Kevin said.
“Thank you. You look wonderful, too! I’m just so happy to be here!”
They sat on the couch and talked for awhile and Kevin told her about their schedule for the day and what to expect.
“I don’t care if I have to sit in the hotel room all day. Just knowing that I’m finally here with you is I care about.” Olivia said.
“Well, fortunately you won’t have to. I have tickets for you for the front row so you can watch the show tonight and we have dinner planned for 5:00 at Chasen’s and a party at some bar afterwards. I don’t remember the name of it.”
“That sounds great, but I will probably pass on the after show party.”
“Why? Have you mellowed out in your old age?” Kevin teased her.
“Ha ha. Hey, you’re older than me!” She giggled. “No, I have another reason.” Olivia had thought about what to say to Kevin all day, actually for the past month, and she had decided the direct approach would be the best. It had been so hard to keep the news of the baby from him the past month so now she wanted to tell him right away.
“These days I don’t drink and I usually go to bed pretty early because I get tired much easier than I used to.”
“Why? Are you alright?” Kevin looked concerned.
“Well, yes.” Olivia smiled, trying to stall. How could she tell him? What would he say?
Kevin looked at her expectantly and Olivia took a deep breath, “Kevin, I’m…” and then there was a knock at the door.
“Hey, Kev! Do you want to get something to eat with us?” Nick yelled through the door.
Olivia’s heart beat faster. Damn you, Nick!
“Hold that thought.” Kevin said and he got up to answer the door.
“Hey, what’s…” And then Nick saw Olivia sitting on the couch. Olivia! Seeing her sitting there in a lovely black and white polka-dotted sundress that hugged her curves in the right places, especially her full breasts, took his breath away. She looked absolutely radiant and as beautiful as ever.
“Hi, Olivia! I didn’t know you had arrived already. How are you?”
Olivia smiled and stood up. “I’m really good. How are you?”
“Great. Well, I won’t disturb you guys. You two catch up and we’ll see you later, Kev.” He started to walk away. Nick was totally fine with letting them have their “alone” time. Olivia still had the ability to cause his groin area to react, but he knew she was Kevin’s and would always respect that.
“Kevin, we can go have lunch with them, that’s fine with me.” Olivia said.
“Are you sure?” Olivia nodded.
“Wait, Nick, we’ll join you guys.” Kevin yelled after Nick.
Olivia decided that it was not the right moment to tell Kevin and she hoped there would be some time after lunch.
However, it was not to be since the lunch extended into hours of talking, laughing and walking around LA shopping since AJ talked them into hanging out with them while he checked out some clothes and shoes. Oh, and of course, they had to stop at Starbucks, too, another one AJ’s favorite places. Olivia didn’t mind the shopping or Starbuck’s since she loved both things as much as he did. It was actually a fun day and it kept her mind out off of the “heavy” things that were usually weighing down her mind these days.
Before they knew it, it was 5:00 and time for dinner. They arrived at Chasen’s and the restaurant was already crawling with activity. Several members of BSB’s crew, staff and management joined them and they ended up having a wonderful time together. Olivia declined her usual wine, which caused Kevin and Nick to raise an eyebrow, but she knew soon enough they would know the truth and she didn’t care.
After dinner, they headed for the arena where the concert was taking place to do their last minute preparations for the night’s event—soundchecks, rehearsals, light cues, dance numbers, etc., etc. There was surprisingly a lot to do for just a two-hour show.
Olivia stood backstage watching them and realized that she may not make it through the entire show without falling asleep. Her usual bedtime was 9pm these days and she knew the concert would probably only be halfway over by then. Suddenly she wanted to tell Kevin right now. She knew it was selfish, but if she didn’t tell him now, then there wouldn’t be time tonight and then tomorrow they had a full schedule – Kevin had showed her and she would barely see him. It wasn’t the right time, but when would there ever be a right time? She already felt terrible she had kept it from him this long since she knew he would have wanted to know from the beginning so now she was bursting with the need to tell him now.
Madonna's “Like a Virgin” (how ironic, Olivia thought) was blaring loudly from the huge speakers flanking the stage, the crew was running around doing last minute preparations and the guys were either singing, tuning instruments, checking equipment or talking with a stage manager about something. Olivia spotted Kevin at the piano, playing a song by himself and he didn’t look too terribly busy, so she went and sat down next to him.
“Hi!” she said.
“Hi!” he smiled at her. “What’s up?”
“I have something to tell you!” Olivia said loudly to be heard over the music.
“Okay, go for it.” Kevin shouted back.
“I’m pregnant.” Olivia said, in a softer tone.
“What?!” Kevin shouted.
“I’m pregnant!” Olivia shouted and suddenly realized everyone there must have heard it because the music had stopped.
One of the crew members had accidentally pulled the plug on the sound system which silenced Madonna at the worst possible time – just before Olivia yelled “I’m pregnant!” to the world.
Olivia looked around and flushed bright red with embarrassment. Oh my God, that didn’t just happen! She got up and ran towards the backstage but not before seeing the look on Nick’s face. He was in absolute shock.
Kevin was, too, but suddenly everything made perfect sense. All the signs had been there, but he had missed them. How could he have been so stupid? And poor Olivia, what she must be going through. Where was she? He realized she had run off and he got up to ran after her.
