Unfolding Souls Fiction

It had been a long two weeks since Olivia had seen Kevin or Nick.  After both Kevin and Nick walked out on her that day, she thought, to hell with both of them— she had to get her head on straight and try to figure out what she really wanted before she could try to reconcile with either of them.  She was looking forward to moving to Santa Monica to live with Kelli and starting her new job, even though her heart was in shreds.  She knew she couldn’t commit to either Kevin or Nick at this point until she got her shit together and she didn’t even know if either of them would want her anymore anyway, so it was time to move on--for now.

At Nick’s house that day, she calmly got dressed, held back the tears, walked out and never went back.  Driving straight to the airport, she got on a plane and flew back to Portland that night.  Arriving at her apartment late, she slept surprisingly well due to mental exhaustion, but she woke up depressed.  No, you are not going to let this get to you, she told herself and she was ready when some of her friends and family members arrived at 9:00 am to help her load up the U-Haul truck, the same truck that she had already reserved that Kevin was going to help her load.  Olivia was determined to get through the mess she had made of her life and the lives of the two men she suspected she still loved.  She told herself she didn’t need a man to be happy, that she could make her own happiness, but the lie rang false and deep down she knew she needed both of them in her life— in whatever capacity.  She missed both Kevin and Nick terribly; their presence, their smiles, their laughs, their voices, the sex, yes, the sex, but most of all just being held both of them and feeling they really cared about her.  The feeling of safety and security and feeling loved.  Now she just felt empty inside and her heart ached.

"You’re a part of me now

Caught by the taste of your kiss

And I don’t wanna know the reason why I can’t stay forever like this

Now I’m climbing the walls cuz I miss you”…

When the truck was loaded by early afternoon, Olivia said her goodbyes and started off on her 14-hour journey to sunny California.  Since the U-Haul didn't have a CD player, she had put hers on the passenger seat next to her.  As she flipped through the CDs that she had thrown into the truck in haste, she realized they were all Backstreet Boys CDs and her heart sank.  Listening to their music was not going to help her forget Kevin or Nick or her woes, but since the radio was broken and she wanted something to break the monotonous silence, she grabbed their Never Gone CD and put it in the player, hoping it wouldn’t affect her too much.

“Empty spaces fill me up with holes, distant faces with no place left to go…”

Next.  She pushed the skip button.

Nick’s voice:  “Lookin’ at your picture from when we first met, you gave me a smile I can never forget…”

Next. 

“Everybody knows that I was such a fool to ever let go of you, Baby I was wrong…”

Fuck it! She turned off the CD player.  Silence was golden, but her mind was her enemy.

Not being able to take it anymore, Olivia stopped and bought a GreenDay and John Mayer CD at a convenience store and refilled the thermos of coffee she had brought.  She ended up drinking the whole container of coffee within a couple of hours and was wide awake so she kept driving.  Olivia was shocked when nine hours later at 9:30 at night she had arrived in Sacramento, California.  She had hoped to drive straight through to Santa Monica, but she knew her body, as well as her mind was exhausted, so she checked into the Days Inn.  The Old Spaghetti Factory was within walking distance thankfully so she decided to see if they were still open; she was starving.  Luckily they were, so she sat down and ordered a glass of wine.  She looked at her attire – tank top and a pair of shorts and decided she didn’t really care what she looked like right now.  She wasn’t here to impress anyone.

“Drinking again, I see.”  She heard a somewhat familiar voice say to her.  Olivia looked up to see Mr. Lawyer from LAX.

“Oh my god… what are you doing here?” she asked, extremely surprised to see him.

“Uh, I live here, in Sacramento, that is.  I was in LA on business when we met.  Do you live here, too?” He smiled at her, hoping she did. 

She remembered his kind eyes and smiled back at him. 

“No, I just left my home in Portland, Oregon to drive all this way—a 9-hour jaunt— but my final destination is Santa Monica.  I’m starting a new life for myself there.”

 “A do-over kind of thing?”

Olivia smiled.  “Yeah, something like that.”

“Do you mind if I join you?”

“Sure, why the hell not?” Olivia said, thinking he could be a welcome distraction.  The man sat down opposite Olivia and she looked at him.  He was definitely a good-looking man.  He was very tall and lean and had medium to long wavy, sandy-brown hair.  He kind of reminded her of the actor John Corbett from Sex and the City.

“By the way, my name is Kevin Douglas.”

Olivia groaned.

“What’s wrong?”

“Uh, it’s just that… can I call you something else?”

Kevin laughed, wondering why, but amused.  “Okay… well, my first name is Joshua and I actually prefer it… I don’t know why the hell people started calling me Kevin in the first place!” He laughed and Olivia thought it was a nice laugh.

“Joshua… that’s a really nice name.  You should use that name... I’m Olivia.”  And she extended her hand.  She was so grateful he offered another name.  She did not need another Kevin in her life, let alone a reminder of him.

“Oh, no, Olivia? Not that name!”

They both burst out laughing. “I’m just kidding! I love that name.  It's nice to meet you again, Olivia." He said.

“You know what’s funny is that when I met you, I thought you looked like a lawyer so in my mind I was calling you Mr. Lawyer.”

Then Joshua became quiet.

“What? You’re not one, are you?”

Joshua smiled sheepishly and nodded.

“Oh my God, that’s too funny.  Well, I guess I had you pegged.  Maybe it comes with my line of work.  I’m a legal secretary so I work with lawyers!”

“Oh, okay, that’s explains it.  I feel sorry for you!” He chuckled. 

Olivia giggled and realized she was really enjoying his company.

“So, Olivia, I’m just curious… what was it that made you drink those Long Island Ice Teas at the airport the day we met? You seemed pretty messed up!”

“Thanks for reminding me of that humiliating moment.” She blushed. 

"Glad to be of service." He teased.

“No, I was just trying to forget something or rather someone.”

“I figured that was the case… did it work?”

"What? Did I forget them?" Olivia sighed.  She wasn't prepared to talk to him about her personal life and she didn't want to anyway.  She just wanted to forget about Kevin and Nick and focus on the time with the man in front of her.  "Do you mind if we talk about something else?"

Joshua complied and they ate, drank wine, talked and laughed throughout dinner and it was a pleasant and welcome distraction for Olivia.  It was really what she needed after “the incident” yesterday.  Joshua was fun and easy to talk to and besides they had something in common – they both were in the legal field, so they were able to talk business.  When they were finished with their meal, Joshua insisted on paying in spite of Olivia’s protests and then they walked outside together.

“So, were you having dinner by yourself tonight?” Olivia asked as they stood in front of the restaurant.

Joshua laughed.  “No, actually.  I was with some colleagues of mine from work, but I ditched them after I spotted you.”  He admitted.

Olivia laughed.  “Thanks! Wow, you guys eat late, don’t you?”

“Yeah, well when you work long hours, that’s how it goes sometimes.  A lot of times actually.”

Olivia thought that was probably true given the job he had.  “No one to go home to?” She was curious.

“No, there hasn’t been for awhile.  I’m pretty much married to my job.”

“That’s sad.” She pointed out.

“Thanks for reminding me that I’m a lonely old bachelor!” He teased her, laughing.

“My pleasure.  Glad I could help.” She teased back.  “Well, Joshua…” Olivia stifled a yawn. “I had a wonderful time— thank you.  But I think it’s time for me to turn into a pumpkin now.  I had a long day today and I have another long one tomorrow, so I’m going to crawl into my motel bed and crash.”

“I understand.  I still can’t believe you drove nine hours today! Can I walk you to the motel?”

“That long walk across the street?” She laughed.  “No, thanks, I think I’ll manage.  You should get back to your friends; they’re probably wondering what happened to you.”

“Oh, who cares about them!” He joked.  “Look, Olivia, I know you’re moving to Santa Monica and you probably have a lot going on right now, but is there any way I can call you when you get settled?”

Olivia hesitated.  She definitely didn’t want to date anyone right now; she still had to sort things out with two other men…

“Just as a friend.”  Joshua added, noticing her hesitation.

“I can always use friends.”  Olivia scribbled her cell phone number on her old business card and handed it to him. 

“Here's mine."  He handed her his card.  She looked at it. 

J. Kevin Douglas, Esq.

The Law Office of Douglas, Wheatley & Brooks

Business, Copyright, Patent & Trademark Attorneys

200 Capitol Mall, Sacramento, California  95814

“Wow, you’re a partner, impressive!” Olivia said and she was impressed.  It took a look of hard work, dedication and long hours to achieve that.  He was probably rich but most of his time was spent working.  Something she didn’t want to do.  She liked her 8-5 hours thank you very much. 

“Thanks.  I’m pretty impressed myself.”  He smiled at her and she wondered how old he was.  He looked so young to have such an illustrious career.

“Well, Joshua... and you’re sure I can call you Joshua, right?” He nodded.  “Again, thank you.  I’m glad we bumped into each other again.”

“Me, too and thank you, Olivia.  I hope everything goes well with your move and your new job and I’ll probably give you a call in the next few days.  Goodnight.” He boldly gave her a little peck on the check and Olivia smiled.

Joshua stood there and watched her walk to the motel and smiled.  She was not only gorgeous, but so fun to be with.  He really hoped they would meet again.  With that thought, he turned around and walked back into the restaurant to see if his friends were still there.

After Nick walked out on Olivia yesterday, he began to have second thoughts.  He took a drive, then walked on the beach and then ended up a bar to drown his sorrows.  The more he thought about it, he realized that maybe he had been unfair to expect Olivia to know of his feelings for her.  She was right; he had never said anything and given his past relationships, it would be logical that she wouldn’t necessary assume he would want more than just sex with her.  He had hoped though that she might know by his actions—how he lovingly made love to her, how he smiled at her, kissed her, held her, laughed with her, sang to her… thinking about all those things and their wonderful time together, he yearned to be with her.  He wanted to kiss her again, to hold her in his arms and tell her everything would be alright and that he was… madly in love with her.  Because, he realized, he absolutely was.  The realization hit him smack in the face and he smiled.  Yes, I love her.  Then reality rained down on him.  She was probably right now at this very moment begging Kevin to take her back and they were together again.  The thought of it made him say,  “Bartender, can I have another?”

Kevin was trying to not to think about what just happened, but he was finding it very difficult.  After leaving Nick’s house, he drove around for two hours up and down PCH thinking, hurting and even crying.  It had been a very emotionally draining and exhausting day and he just wanted it to end.  Olivia had made it difficult to love her once he discovered her feelings for Nick were real.  He did still love her, of course, but it hurt like hell because of her relationship with Nick.  He realized her betrayal was based upon a misunderstanding, but he felt it still would have happened at some point in their relationship.  Maybe they would have had a fight over something and she went running to Nick then.  He was glad it had happened so soon in their relationship, but nevertheless, it still hurt; he still felt like shit.  Thinking of Nick and Olivia making love made him sick to his stomach and he tried desperately to push the distasteful thought out of his mind.  And not only was he still angry at Olivia, but at his good friend, Nick, as well.  What the hell was Nick doing fucking her? He was usually loyal to his friends and wouldn’t think of doing something like that.  Could it be that he was in love with her? Kevin banished the thought immediately.  It can’t be true and he didn’t want it to be true.  No, this must just be lust, just sex, he thought, he prayed.  But the fact that he wanted it be just purely physical between them meant that Kevin still wanted her; he wanted to forgive her and move on.  But how? If she did come back to him, could he be sure she wanted him and only him and not harbor feelings for Nick? He realized that it was going to take some time until he got over his hurt and anger and was able to talk calmly with Olivia again.  Right now he just wanted to go home and fall into his nice warm bed and try to get some sleep if he could.  He would see how things looked in the morning.