"Can you see me, here I am
I need you like I needed you then
When I feel like giving up
I climb inside your heart and still find
You're my safest place to hide..."
Suddenly Olivia’s life was turned upside down. To go from being blissfully happy one day to being in the depths of hell the next was not only overwhelming, but also extremely depressing.
Olivia had tried to reach Kevin several times last night and never received a call back from him. Then she remembered that he had been filming the video that day and he and the boys and the crew probably went out for drinks afterwards and relaxed a little. They were probably partying hard after all their hard work and she was cool with that. However, when she still had not received an e-mail or call from him by 10:00 am the next morning, she again became worried so she tried to call him again at his house.
What she encountered was more than she had bargained for, to say the least. After waiting four rings to get an answer, she heard the click of being connected and then what sounded like Kevin moaning in ecstasy as if he were having an orgasm. She recognized that sound, having heard it a few times by now, but never had she heard it without being the cause of it so it came as quick a shock that she was hearing it right after he answered the phone. At first she thought that maybe he was just satisfying himself and she was going to get over it, but when Olivia heard a woman’s voice say – and she will never forget the words – “I still love it when you come in my mouth” – she knew his orgasm was at the hands, or mouth in this case, of another woman and that was unacceptable! As soon as she recovered and could tell he had as well, she yelled into the phone to get his attention. And then when Kevin finally answered the phone, he didn’t know who she was!
It was too much to take. She recognized the entire scene from her past relationship with Jack and it made her sick to her stomach to have to relive it, especially with Kevin whom she had trusted. That had been the reason she had cheated on Jack the one time she had because he had been unfaithful to her and she wanted her revenge. Unfortunately, it had not been a sweet revenge, feeling more empty afterwards than before.
The tears flowed unabashedly as Olivia thought why would he do it or have to do it when she given him the same satisfaction only four days previously. She told herself, ‘because he’s a fucking man, he’s a fucking rock star, Olivia, you idiot’, but deep down she had felt he had changed; he wasn’t going to be the player anymore – at least that’s what he had told her and she wanted to believe him. She knew that she was in love with him and he was with her even if they had never spoken it verbally, they had spoken it many times in other ways. And that’s why it cut her to the core, like a knife to her heart. But Olivia was stronger this time and determined not to fall to pieces like she had after her discovery of Jack’s affair, she dried her tears and decided to do something totally irrational and reckless, like flying back to LA as soon as possible.
Going back to work, she apologized that on her last day, she was going to bail early, but stressing her urgency to get out of town today, they all understood and bid her a happy farewell. Olivia raced to her apartment, packed up as much as she could take with her and hightailed it to the airport. Purchasing a ticket for the next flight to LAX and then going through the experience of the security check, waiting at the gate and enduring the airplane ride all over again was exasperating and overwhelming, but this time she was determined to go through it all without the help of alcohol. She wanted to be clearheaded when she carried out the mission she had in mind. She had one goal in mind, and was damn sure going to obtain it. This time Jack was not on her flight and there were no mishaps of any kind thankfully.
Olivia arrived in LA on time, retrieved her luggage and rented a car. She knew where she was going. She had called Kelli at work from her cell phone and got the information she needed. She was headed for her destination…
Nick was tired after the video shoot and excessive partying so he slept most of the day and laid around his house the rest of the time. He was planning to go to the studio that afternoon to maybe hook up with the other guys to get some rehearsal time in, but before he was able to go anywhere, he heard a knock on his door.
When Nick opened the door, he was stunned to see Olivia standing there looking upset, but so beautiful. Her hair was tousled and she was clad in tight jeans and a blouse, unbuttoned to reveal the hint of cleavage. She wasn’t trying to look so attractive and that made her all the more lovely to him; the unobtrusiveness of it. She actually looked like a distraught woman on a mission.
“Oh, Nick, I’m so glad to see you!” She flung her arms around him and suddenly the tears came out of her in torrents. Her sorrow racked her body and she clung onto him, crying and trying to stop, but finding it difficult.
Nick longed to have her in his arms again, but not like this and he was truly concerned about her. He held her, comforting her, letting her cry.
“Olivia, what’s wrong?” Nick asked when she finally got a hold of herself and pulled away. He was ready to kill whoever had hurt her.
“I’m sorry... I didn’t expect to break down like that… I guess I was holding it in.” She said, brushing away her tears. It feel good to be here and cry on his shoulder.
“I didn’t expect to see you here… what happened?”
“Um… first, do you have a tissue?”
“I’ll be right back.” Nick grabbed a tissue box out of the bathroom and ran back to hand it to her.
“Thanks.” Olivia wiped her face and smiled at him weakly. When she saw the look on his face she said. “I’ll be alright.”
“You don’t look alright. Come, sit down and talk to me. I want to know what’s wrong.” Nick closed the door and Olivia followed him into the living room where they sat down next to each other on his nice comfortable leather sofa.
Sitting there next to Nick, Olivia’s thoughts of anger and revenge and hurt about Kevin melted away for a minute as she allowed herself to enjoy just being in his presence again. This time she was happy to luxuriate in her strong emotions for this man, allowing herself to feel them, instead of stifling them as she usually did. Why should she fight it any longer? Kevin was clearly engaging in extracurricular activities and as the thought crossed her mind, her anger arose again.
“Nick, I have one question for you and I want you to be honest with me, please. Promise me you’ll be honest, okay?”
“Okay, I promise. What’s the question?”
“Who is Monica?”
Olivia saw his face instantly change and she knew immediately that he knew who Monica was and her hunch had been right. She hadn’t been 100% sure that Nick would even know who this woman was – it could have been someone Kevin had picked up at a bar that Nick didn’t know about, but Olivia had sensed that Monica was more than that – that Kevin had had a past with her, a past he had never mentioned to her.
“Uh…”
“You promised to be honest, remember?”
“Okay, but I really think Kevin should be talking to you about this. I don’t feel right about telling you about her, he should be talking to you about her.”
“Yeah, well, he didn’t and he didn’t call me last night like he had promised or answer my calls so I called him this morning concerned and I hear him fucking coming over the phone while she giving him a blow job!”
“Oh, shit, are you serious?” Nick was in shock.
“God, I wish I wasn’t, but yeah, it happened. So, I flew all the way the back here to find out if Kevin and I still have a future or if I’m a free woman again, free to pursue my other interests...” she looked at Nick and he looked stunned. “...only I didn’t want to talk to Kevin about it because I didn’t want to hear the excuses, the lies; I wanted to first hear from you who she was and then go to him later when I knew the truth so I could make sure he wouldn’t lie to me. Because Nick, I can’t get lied to again,” her eyes filled up with tears again. “I just can’t.” That was an old Jack trick and she almost hated it worse than the actual affair.
Nick took her in his arms again to comfort her, his heart breaking for her, wanting to be furious at Kevin, but confused at the whole situation and what really happened. Kevin was usually faithful to the ones he loved but regardless, he was sorry Olivia was hurting and he wanted to do all he could to make her smile again; he loved her smile.
Then he suddenly thought that Olivia might be free, free to be with him and his breath caught in throat. He had not dared hoped it could happen and yet it might be. His heart soared for a moment, but then the reality of the situation hit him and he realized he couldn’t do this to Kevin, not when he and Olivia had some unresolved issues and could possibly mend their fences.
When Olivia pulled away again, she was resolved to stop crying and to listen what Nick had to say.
“Okay, so just tell me about Monica, please.”
Nick sighed and then shared with her the limited information he had about Monica and Kevin’s past relationship and Monica’s recent return to Jive, conveniently failing to mention his recent sexual experience with her.
“Oh, God, it’s worse than I thought. An ex-girlfriend he dated for two years back in town. I can’t compete with that.” Olivia said, sadly.
“Olivia, he doesn’t care about her, it's been over for awhile now. I do know he has strong feelings for you. As far as what happened this morning, well, there must be some explanation. Maybe they got drunk and things just happened, I don’t know. I do think you should talk to him.” It was hard for Nick to convince the woman he desired with all his heart to rekindle her relationship with one of his best friends, but it was the right thing to do.
Olivia looked up at Nick, seeing him in a new light. “Thanks, Nick, I appreciate that. I'm actually kind of surprised you are trying to convince me to get back together with Kevin. You're a good friend to him.” She laughed.
“Believe me, it’s not easy! I still want you...” And Olivia cut him off with her lips, kissing him with all the passion pent up inside her for the past few days, for the past few years that she had longed to be with him, even when she didn’t know him and he was just her fantasy.
As much as the voice inside Nick screamed for him to stop, he wasn’t going to listen to it anymore. He desired her too much to stop it, as he took her face in his hands and kissed her back with all the feeling he had inside for her, loving the feeling of kissing her again, this time in the privacy of his home, no one watching, no one to walk in to interrupt them. They kissed for several minutes, their tongues exploring, their mouths joining in exquisite unison and their passions rising as the blood rushed to their various body parts.
Desiring one another too much to even move to another location, clothes went flying in all directions; Olivia ripping Nick’s shirt off, Nick ripping her blouse off, and then her bra, jeans and panties soon followed along with his pants and boxers. They could not be naked soon enough. Longing to be “skin to skin” as Nick’s song "Miss America" proclaimed, it was glorious once they actually were.
“Baby, I want you bad." Nick breathed, holding her close and kissing her neck.
“Nick, I want you inside of me now!” Olivia exclaimed with urgency.
Nick was happy to comply as he spread her legs and entered her with an urgency that matched hers. Like two drug addicts desperate for a fix, their bodies made love in unison, Nick thrusting inside of her and Olivia meeting him with her own until the two of them knew their release was imminent. As if their drugs had taken effect, Nick thrusted into her a final time and Olivia’s orgasm racked her body as it never had before, causing her to emit a cry of ultimate pleasure. Nick was right behind her, crying out himself in the most pleasurable sexual experience he had ever had. “Olivia, Olivia, baby…” he groaned, caught up in emotion as he shuddered and held onto her for dear life. Olivia held onto him, too, “Nick, oh Nick…” her hands running through his hair, kissing his neck, his cheek, his lips… oh, she thought, this was the sweetest of moments… and suddenly the words, “every time I try to rise above it, I’m swept away by love…” came to mind and she really thought she was “drowning…”
